A little more about our court nightmare...and our time in Sumy

~Alicia Yuliya Horlacher~

We are still in Sumy. We spoke to Natasha this morning and she is going to get the paperwork rolling on her new birth certificate, VISA, passport, etc. on Monday. It has been quiet, with no complications from the psycho mom, so we've been enjoying our time with Yuliya. She is gaining our trust everyday. Yesterday she brought the portable DVD player and laid down between Carrie and I and we all watched Monsters, Inc. in Russian. (I took a look at the DVD that was purchased at the local market. It had about 10 different Disney movies on it, burned onto a DVD-R, and the case insert had clearly been printed by a low-quality color printer. Obviously no InterPol here in Ukraine! In order to make an 'illegal' DVD like this, you first have to 'rip' it, then reburn it (aka: bootleged). Part of the hacking removes the region settings in the process, which makes this a true bootleg.) I guess this is why our Ukrainian DVD's are working -- they are all illegal!! lol.

We STILL don't have internet at the apartment, so I am alone at the internet cafe while Carrie and Yuliya are at home enjoying an very illegal Madagascar in Ukrainian. It's funny watching a lion, penguin, and other animals speaking Ukrainian. Guess I know how she'll feel in a few weeks in America.

Our day in court started with a call from Vladimir (our facilitator) who informed us that we needed to check out before we go to court, which was in 90 minutes. Carrie was still in the shower, stuff was all over our apartment (we had planned on being there 10 days at least). Plus, we needed to get in our Sunday best for court. Needless to say, it was utter mayhem in our place. I know what it is like trying to rush Carrie for church on Sunday mornings. This was like that, times 10. Nothing like going to court in a sweat-soaked Sunday shirt! Carrie wasn't too keen on the running around in her Sunday shoes. In an attempt to re-invite the spirit, we said a quick prayer before checking out. :) Once in the car, on our way to court, Vladimir and Natasha said nothing, except that after court, they would tell us everything after we were whisked off to Sumy. Our journey started in Kiev, then to Romny, then back to Kiev, then back to Romny, now we're in Sumy. Next stop -- Romny, and finally Kiev. (I do believe that Carrie and I will weep for joy when we finally get to sleep in our own beds again! I am sure I could get rich in this country by opening a Serta store!)

The court house was anything but what we envisioned a court house to be. Natasha forbid any pictures, so I will try to paint the picture: Ever been to Pioneer Village at Lagoon? Those old-time buildings are still fully functional here in Ukraine, only with huge cracks in the floors, walls and ceilings. Wires are stung every which way all over place, and it was very cold (no heat). The waiting area was a dank hallway with some old wooden fold-down bench seats that had appeared to have been taken from an old movie theater. The lights are one single incandescent bulb, making everything dark and dreary. The court room itself was no different. We all sat down on the same old benches, and they creaked as they folded down. Court started and was going well. Natasha told us that at some point, Yuliya would be excused. That never happened. About 3/4 of the way through, the judge got brutal. She asked Carrie to stand and asked her why she wants Yuliya, when she is young and could have additional biological children. Carrie explained how she loved Yuliya and wanted her. That was not good enough. The judge repeated the question and Carrie told her that it was not biologically impossible for her to have children, but that right now she wanted Yuliya, and only her. She told Carrie to sit down and then looked at Yuliya and asked her if the wanted to be adopted. Yuliya told how she had come to America, how we've kept in touch, etc. Then the judge looked her in the eyes and said 'Why don't you stay here in Ukraine? We may not have much, but at least you know we will take care of you'. At this point, our translators jaw had hit the floor, Carrie's eyes were as big as silver dollars, and I was was dumbfounded. The judge continued, 'Yuliya, how do you know that these parents won't take you to America and abandon you there?' Before the translator could even finish, Carrie yelled at the judge 'NO! NO! NO! We will NEVER do that!' (Those who know Carrie can envision this unfold in your mind). The judge went silent for a minute, looked at Carrie, then looked at Yuliya and asked, 'Where are your Ukraine mom and dad?' Yuliya explained that they could not take care of her and had put her into the orphanage. The judge already knew this but was making Yuliya explain it! The judge then asked her 'Do you love you momma?' Yuliya, confused as we were by which mother the judge was talking about, quietly said 'dah'. (dah = yes in Ukraine). As if that was not enough, the judge then looked over at the counselor to explain about Yuliya's mother situation. This is typically when they are supposed to excuse the child. Instead, the counselor elaborated about how Yuliya's mother has been a drunk since Yuliya was a baby. We also learned that recently, her mother sold her apartment so she could have money for alcohol, and was living on the streets. She also had to hear how her mother had been invited to the court hearing by some secret informant (this was NOT supposed to happen!), and that her mother showed up that morning, drunk as a skunk, an hour too early, staggered off, and had not been seen since. The icing on the cake was when learned her father had refused to show up to court, not even to say good-bye to his own daughter. At this point, I looked over and Yuliya had tears in her eyes. Her cheeks were red as she held back from crying. Well, that made Carrie cry too. Yuliya's entire countenence changed at that point for the rest of the day. She had been happy and smiley up to that point. The only bright part of that court hearing was when the judge came back from recess and read the decision of the court to grant our petition. We couldn't say good riddance fast enough!

After the court, Vladimir whisked us off to Sumy with our somber daughter sitting in between us. It wasn't until we were about 10 miles out of the city when it was explained to us that there were people in the city (we have no idea who) who had told her mother all about the adoption. People actually wanted to stop this adoption. We still don't know why, and can guess a million reasons why. The main reason is that Romny is a small town, and everyone knows everyone. Word got around.

We finally got Yuliya to laugh when we were about 10 miles out of town and Carrie was pleading for a potty. The roller coaster ride was not helping her full bladder. Since there was nothing for another 20 miles, Vladimir pulled over and asked if she wanted to use nature's potty. Carrie couldn't jump out of the car into the trees fast enough. Natasha looked at Vladimir and said 'I'm going too!' They disappeared, and Natasha emerged from the tree a few minutes later laughing hysterically. Apparently, Carrie really had to go, and in her haste, didn't quite hit the ground for the first few seconds. Carrie emerged, walking a little funny with her wet now-wet nylons. Carrie was laughing too, and Yuliya had a good laugh when she figured out what was going on. Carrie exclaimed 'That was probably the only time I had wished I was a man!'.

Thankfully, time heals, and Yuliya has become the sweet girl we remember from October 2007. She loves to cuddle next to Carrie and loves to walk to joke and giggle with me. It's funny how even though she's only been my daughter for a few days, she has the instinctive nature of a daughter to wrap me around her little finger (Eliza has this art mastered). The dynamic of Carrie's loving personality and my easy-going, joking personality has been exactly what she needed. Our translator has been talking to her and we've found out that she has never had a mom and dad, per se. When she was little, her mother and father divorced when she was an infant, and they both asked her to call them by their first name rather than mama and papa. Yuliya's babooshka pretty much raised her until 2004, when her babooshka died and her mom left her on the steps of the orphanage. Yuliya still remembers that day vividly and can tell you the details, all the way to what time it was. So in a way, Carrie and I are starting from scratch, but thanks to a loving babooshka, she still knows how to love. Our 3 kids are going to have her feeling like on of the family in no time at all. The counselor did say that she needs lots of hugs when she gets home, so when anyone meets her for the first time, please feel free to put your arm around her and give her a little hug.

In retrospect, the information Yuliya got in court was like a stake through the heart. However, if there was any question in her mind about her mom and dad, and what she left in Ukraine, it was answered in court. She now knows the truth that there is literally nobody in Ukraine that loves her. If there is ever any question in her mind when she gets to America, she simply has to reflect on our day in court. That is the one silver lining to that day.

Here are a few pictures of our time in Ukraine.

These are the blossoms of the chestnut tree. These trees are everywhere, and with it being springtime, blossoms like this are everywhere, on various trees.

Yuliya and I in front of the orphanage. The statue of of the woman who started the orphanage. During WWII, she took in over 40 children who were orphaned from the war, and raised them. This week, they are celebrating this event and all of those familes are having a reunion in Romny to honor her. We'd hoped to be there.

Our translator's niece (Sasha) and Yuliya on a swing. Natasha's family took us to a beautiful picnic area and treated Carrie to a Mother's Day lunch. Carrie had a wonderful day and Yuliya had fun with her new friend.


Our translator (on the far left on red), her niece, and the rest of her family who gave Carrie a great Mother's Day.

This is the brand of juice that everyone drinks here in Ukraine. This particular flavor is my favorite. There is not a lot of soda consumption here. People drink fruit juice or alcohol with meals. As such, the price of fruit juice is low. This 1 litre bottle cost around $1 dollar.

Yuliya took this picture of her friend in the orphanage. He was such a cute kid. Too bad he (and every other kid) refuses to smile big. All things considered, I can't say I blame them.

Yuliya's school teacher and one of her friends. The teachers here make around $150-$250 dollars a month. Yuliya has 5 girls and 5 boys in her class (5th grade). We'll put Yuliya into 6th grade next year.



Another picture of Yuliya's best friend (Nadia). It will be SOOO nice to have Alyson, Bailey, Eliza and the other girls in our neighborhood help pick up where Nadia left off.

Yuliya smiling for a picture on our way to lunch. This is the inside of Vladimir's car. By the way he drives, one would think it was a Corvette!

Another picture taken by Yuliya of one of her friends. This girl is actually a US Citizen, along with her 2 sisters in the same orphanage. Her parents moved to Ukraine and are living like Gypsies somewhere, and 3 of their 7 kids are stuck in an orphanage.


This is the front of the orphange. You can see the statue from the previous picture. The building on the far left are the sleeping dorm, and the rest of the building are the classrooms. The admin offices are right inside of the entrance behind the statue.


The backside of the orphanage. The rusty yello pipes are natural gas lines.

This is a picture taken behind the orphanage. It was the most beautful landscape I think I've ever seen. Notice the trees in blossom. They paint the trunks white to keep bugs out of the bark.

Attempting to dry clothes. The electricity required by dryers prevents most people from affording them, so everyone had a clothes line. In this case, the radiator heater did the trick. :)