Pioneer Trek '10

Earlier this year, shortly after Yuliya was baptized, the young men and women were told that they would be doing Pioneer Trek this year. That idea of camping outside without a roof over their heads terrifies Yuliya. When she first got here, we went camping up American Fork canyon, and she insisted that she did not want to sleep in the mountains. It scared her to death. Later on, she explained how in Ukraine, people don't camp outside in a tent or under the start. When she wsa in the orphanage, she would go to summer camp in the mountains (rolling hills by Utah standards) in cabin-type enclosures. (When we were in Sumy, we were able to go and see these. They were indeed enclosed with doors, but they resembled room that I would envision at a 1-star hotel in a ghost town, complete with cracked windows, worn out and stained mattresses with squeaky springs, wobbly table with 1 or 2 chairs...definitely not a place I would choose as a summer vacation.) Yuliya was insistent that she was not going, and there was no changing her mind. We didn't push it, as her fears of becoming bear or wolf kibble, getting killed in a flash flood, etc. were very real.

A couple of weeks ago, our bishop had a meeting for all of the youth at his home. They do this once a month and cover topics in the 'For The Strength of Youth' pamphlet. At the end of this particular meeting, they began talking about final preparations for trek. In weeks past, Yuliya ups and leaves at this point. But this time, 2 of her best friends (Macey and Alex) were there and she stuck around. I am not sure what was said, but after the meeting, Yuliya came home and into the kitchen where I was emptying the dishwasher. She looked at me and said 'Dad, guess what?'. I replied with 'what?', and she almost lost her breath, went white as a sheet, and repeated again, 'guess what?'. We went back and forth with this for a few seconds, each time a little more dramatic. Clearly she was extremely nervous. Finally, in her cute accent, she said 'Dad, I am going to trek!', then stared at me with pursed lips as if those were the 6 hardest words she had EVER spoken! In her heart, they probably were, and the first thing she asked after she took a breath was if she could take Carrie's bottle of Mace with here to fend of any hungry grizzlies. With a smile, I asked her if she was sure about going, and she said yes. She then went and broke the news to Carrie, and explained how she would go ONLY if she could be in a family with a ma and pa that would take care of her, and in the same family as Macey. I called the bishop later that night, and after he picked himself off of the floor from shock, he said 'consider it done'. Brandon (our eldest son) knew he was going long ago, and I think that not only made her feel safer, but also made her think 'If Macey, Brandon and my other friends can do it, so can I!'. One thing about a Ukrainian ex-orphan, they never back down from a challenge.

So this morning, at 4:00AM, the whole family awoke and helped get Brandon and Yuliya out the door to trek. Carrie and I half expected Yuliya at anytime to say 'I changed my mind'. But she was a real trooper, and Brandon has been a great big brother for her. I dropped them off at the stake center, made sure they were with their family, snapped a few pictures, and slowly walked away. It was a very uneasy feeling to leave Yuliya there, realizing that she would be completely in the hands of someone else for 3 days. She's had sleepovers and late nights with friends, but she always had a phone we could call her. So this is a big step for all of us. All will go well and she is in good hands, but it is a first, and a little scary first. As the day has gone on, that is wearing off and I am realizing that for 3 days, I don't have any teenagers in the house! I think a long nap or 2 are in order. I think I still remember what a long nap is.

Brandon and Yuliya, my 2 teenagers (both are 13)


Yuliya, Macey and another friend (it was 5AM, can you tell?)

As a side note, I remember reading several blogs from the groups that had adopted in 2008 (Rogers, Milnes, Millers, etc.). I am not sure if they all got together and talked about this beforehand, but several of these families sat down with their kids before coming to America and laid out some ground rules, and their child(ren) had to agree to them before the adoption was final. In hindsight, I admire them for laying down some expectations, and holding their feet to the fire with these rules before the adoption would be completed. To this day, even though each kid is a typical teenager in their own way, those kids remember and know what is expected of them. Well, as Brandon and Yuliya have been going to these meetings at the bishops house, I began looking through their pamphlet. At the end of this little booklet is a summary of the standards. As I read, I felt a huge sense of relief! There, in front of my nose, were exactly the rules of teenagedom in our home, spelled out in black and white. The relief came because I now have something real to reference, rather than making them feel like Carrie and I make up the rules as we go. Both Yuliya and Brandon are young enough to have not had any real issues with any of these standards, but going forward, these will be excellent to reference as the 'unbend-able', no-gray-area rules. Too bad staying up late, getting up late, complaining about chores, procrastination, watching too much TV, and a few others are not on this list! :) http://www.lds.org/library/display/0,4945,30-1-7-9,00.html