This morning we dropped off Anastasia at the airport along with all of the other families and their hosted kids. Like in year's past, this was the hardest part of the hosting journey. Just to back up a little bit, we sat down with Anastasia the evening of the skating event. She was in particularly good spirits, and felt it was a good time. Yuliya interpreted and we asked her how she liked our family, America, etc. All indications were that she loved it all, but when we got to the question of adoption, she gave us a firm but gentle 'no'. We were a little surprised by her quick response, but understood why after she explained how her 12-yr sister was in the orphanage with her. She also said that her parents still visited her periodically. When he hosted Yuliya, she had been abandoned at age 6 and had bonded with us to a state of wanting to be adopted, so after we saw some of the same behaviors with Anastasia, we were preparing mentally to possibly do this all again. It was a bit of an emotional let down when she said no. We told her we respected her desire to be with her family and promised to write her and send her care packages. The hosting experience wasn't quite the same after that, but we still had a wonderful time with her. Looking back, this hosting experience was a little different that Yuliya, as Yuliya had been hosted be a family in France several times. Thus, a lot of those 'rough edges' had already worn off by the time we hosted her. Anastasia on the other hand, bless her heart, is a true orphan girl, and we dealt with a few things we hadn't dealt with previously that are somewhat normal occurrences. Yuliya reminded us constantly that that is the 'ways of an orphanage', and hinted that she herself used to be like that. The reminder of what life used to be like for her became a unpleasant reminder for her during these past 16 days. It was an equally stark reminder for Carrie and I as to just how far our Yuliya has come since we brought her home in May 2009. Thinking back when we got home from Ukraine, Yuliya wanted to die her hair black and white, get additional ear piercings, wear Ukraine mini-skirts, etc. That crazy stuff has pretty much melted away, and most of what we encounter now is pretty much normal stuff every parent goes through with a 13 year old teen girl. She's come into her own self and has turned into the sweetest, most loving girl. Not a day goes by when we don't thank God for this little miracle.
This is the first time Save A Child has hosted kids from this orphanage and obviously no adoptions have yet occurred. Thus, these kids don't realize what opportunity they are missing out on by saying no to adoption. Additionally, one of the chaperons this year from Anastasia's orphanage was not very pro-American, so the combination of those 2 things has left a few families like ourselves who were considering and perhaps hoping to adopt a little hurt. When the kids from Sumy and Dnipro came last year, those hosted kids met many adopted kids here in America from their same orphanage. These kids told the orphan kids what a wonderful life they have after being adopted. When the first adopting family goes to that region to adopt from her orphanage, they are going to be trailblazers for the rest of the families. The other kids are going to see that adoption and the family, remember what it was like for them, and realize that they really do want that life. It is then up to the families that hosted them if that happens.
During our time with Anastasia, we discovered an amazing little girl with so much potential. We'll never forget her bubbly personality and beautiful smile. We pray that her family and country take care of her and she grows up to a productive member of society while staying on the straight and narrow. The statistics are stacked against her, but we'll pray for her. To the host families that had kids indicate that they wanted to be adopted, please listen to your hearts when it comes to looking for answers. If it is meant to happen, follow your heart! Just like getting married, paying tithing, or going on a mission, if you listen to your heart, the Lord will help you take care of the logistics. There have been so many miracles in families that took that leap of faith and saw the miracles fall into place.
4 comments:
Andreas and Carrie, I am so, so sorry. My heart aches for you. You opened up your home and your hearts to her and love her. I feel sad that she said no, but I believe you opened up her heart, also... You're in our thoughts and prayers.
Sweet post. I think the orphanage's this year were a little rough and I certainly think the grumpy directors daughter didn't help matters! (I sure didn't see her at many of our activities....that may have been a good thing?) My heart hurts for these families that wanted so much to adopt and were told "no". This little girl really missed out on having a great family!
I am so sorry I thought for sure this would work out for you.
I am so sorry about this change of events. My heart hurts for the families who put themselves out there and were so disappointed. I wish that there could be more research done before the kids are hosted to make sure they are even open to the idea of adoption before they come and a relationship is built. I was so sad for the Horans and the Meyers last year and now you and the Love family. The kids had the opportunity to go to some of the best families on earth. I know you will be blessed for your willingness to open your home. You are in our prayers.
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